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27

Oct

Here is my review of the MD Skincare Alpha Beta Daily Face Peel. Forgive the blurriness of the hands. My camera was acting CRAZY!!

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This is how you make your way thru a FAB soiree and to the bar!

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16

Oct

@STEPHJONES just broke my mixtape exile. Broke it, jumped on it, threw it in a blender, and left it for dead. The only time I big up a mixtape is when it ethers it’s peers and/or breaks ground in it’s genre (The last one for me was Amerie’s “Because I Love It Vol.1”, which was two years ago). And along came Steph Jones. Do yourself a favor and get what he calls his ‘lifetape’ “Gravity”. It’s free, and your dumb ass needs some enlightening anyway. Get by clicking the photo. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a stan stamp to make.

@STEPHJONES just broke my mixtape exile. Broke it, jumped on it, threw it in a blender, and left it for dead. The only time I big up a mixtape is when it ethers it’s peers and/or breaks ground in it’s genre (The last one for me was Amerie’s “Because I Love It Vol.1”, which was two years ago). And along came Steph Jones. Do yourself a favor and get what he calls his ‘lifetape’ “Gravity”. It’s free, and your dumb ass needs some enlightening anyway. Get by clicking the photo. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a stan stamp to make.

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13

Oct

Mariah Carey "H.A.T.E. U" REMIX

Anyone who’s known me since at least a portion of my formative years knows that “My Boo” is not my jelly, but my jam. So take an old skool dirty south favorite, and throw some Mimi sprinkles on it and I’m a happy camper.

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The Loss of Lamya

Lamya

I discovered the visual of Lamya Al’Mugheiry on accident. It was a brisk autumn day in 2003, and I was walking even more briskly down 9th Avenue in Chelsea, attempting to flee from an embarrassing incident involving yet another constituent of the self obsessed stable of freaks that I had romantically (mis)aligned myself with. My head was rolling up and down on my neck- up to keep myself from sobbing uncontrollably, down to watch my step and to avoid missing my final destination. The destination was either going to be the 14th street train station to go home and beat myself up for being so stupid, or to the Union Square Virigin Megastore for a purchase to assist in my session of self abuse. On about the fourth nod down, something purple caught my eye. It was a flier with a woman so striking that I picked it up. I scanned it. Amazing hair. Interesting skin tone…eyes. The eyes were incredible. They were like genetically mutated almonds, almost Anime in effect. Those eyes held a knowing glint, and a glimmer of sadness. She had the posture of a voodoo priestess and only one name. Lamya. I soon gathered that she was a singer, and immediately recognized seeing the name on the roster of Clive Davis’ newly launched J Records. “Meh.” I thought aloud, completely unaware that this voice was attached to my favorite Duran Duran performance of “Come Undone”, and my mind wandered back to the compromising position I had just found myself in. The next thing I knew, I was breezing through the plate glass doors of Virgin, and as I looked to my left, there Lamya was again, beckoning that I come and listen. So I did, and I was taken aback. The seriousness of the opening drums of “Empires” was balanced by the ridiculousness of her lyrical requests: “Bring me men/bring me men who match my mountains”…the pace and self acceptance of “Black Mona Lisa” was refreshing, but it was “Judas Kiss”, which had pretty much summed up the whole of my last encounter with this person that I was still reeling from that was the clincher for me. I took Lamya’s “Learning From Falling” home with me, and put it on repeat for three days. Suddenly, I felt better and quickly recovered. Every listen there was a new discovery. Though I would later learn that Lamya was a trained Opera singer who preferred to sing pop, it was the wisdom of her words and even handed delivery that endeared me to her. Her reliance on vulnerability and sonic audacity over melisma gave me plenty to relate to, and her overwhelming sense of self and total transparency was currently missing in a world where J.lo was the bar for success. Even her choice in musical collaborators was pristine, with Nellee Hooper and a young Mark Ronson manning the console before Amy Winehouse had even done her first speedball.
As it frequently happens, those who are too intelligent and ahead of their time don’t get the recognition or commercial success that they deserve. She was on my list of people who I’d like to, at a minimum, have dinner with and demystify the world’s mysteries. My own artistic world is changing rapidly, and I thought to myself “where is Lamya? I bet she’d work with me.” “Learning From Falling” was Lamya’s first and last release, though she had begun work on a new project that was to be released just a few short months after her sudden death from a heart attack in January 2009.
You know someone has affected when your life when things unrelated remind you of them. Whenever I see some young Sister unwittingly embarrass herself on a crappy reality show, I hear verses of “Full Frontal Fridays” in my head:
“In the shiny glow/of 90210/Before Jerry Springer/The thong thong and the video ho
Back before we/were tangled in drama/douching for dollars/give note to scholar
We positively sparkled on tv…”

Or when I’m feeling overly sensitive and under appreciated, “Black Mona Lisa”:
“I used to be a connoisseur of hate/self hate/paternal hate/hate cum gratis I connected every kind/Sipping it like red wine/the insecurity was mine/the ties that bind are my design…”

To say that I am hurt would be an understatement. Maybe it’s due to the timing of my discovery. Maybe it’s just because I never got the chance to show my appreciation…dinner aside, I never got the opportunity to see her live. Or maybe it’s just the burden of knowing that she was someone who the world needed. I can’t pretend to know what life was like for her the last six years since she went off the grid, all I can speak to is the artistry that got me up and got me through.

And for that, I am eternally grateful.

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22

Jul

Scottie Gage’s cyber presence made me hungry for this video. This is further proof that the year 2000 was a much better place because the pop stars all looked fresh and dewy, and not like used up 40 year old ejaculate targets.

Anyhow, this one is so bad that I hate that I love it for the following reasons:

A. Mandy never seems to leave the magical forest.

B. In line one she sings “Innoncence is what I got”, and just before the chorus sings “You’re gonna have to keep me satisfied”. Mixed messages, no?

C. This would have made one HELL of a feminine deodorant commercial.

D. Suddenly, she’s in rags with a background of syncopated gays in orange pants. They obviously had the time to give her a spiral perm, but didn’t change her dress so they gave her grandmas shawl to play with?

E. If you look closer, it looks as though the syncopated gays are dancing in front of a masoleum. Could it be the future burial site of Jessica Simpson’s career?

I kind of miss Mandy has a platinum blonde with Swedish producers. She was one of the last off the truck, and she’s better off now I suppose…but a boy can dream.

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20

Jul

Okay…I haven’t laughed this hard since last year when Scarlett took a tumble. And there’s too much to laugh at;

A.Male Revue

B.Folding Chairs

C.The Skrippa’s teeny weeny afro

D.Homegirl’s L.E.I. denim skirt

E.The wig…

I could go on and on. Just watch it.

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16

Jul

See…and this is why you and your cousins need to stay the hell up out of the Junior’s department at Macy’s.

See…and this is why you and your cousins need to stay the hell up out of the Junior’s department at Macy’s.

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I love Nerds. I love Nerds about as much as I love Skittles and Starbursts. I always forget how much I love them until they’re actually IN my possession. And it doesn’t matter the size of the box. If I happen to be sitting in front of a Wonka mix, inevitably, I will fish out every tiny box of nerds, and pour them in my mouth (usually about four boxes or til I nearly choke, which ever comes first) and happily crunch through them. Once that’s done, I move on to Laffy Taffy, save the bannana ones because that’s nasty. So if you haven’t had a box of Nerds lately, do yourself a favor and get you a piece.

I love Nerds. I love Nerds about as much as I love Skittles and Starbursts. I always forget how much I love them until they’re actually IN my possession. And it doesn’t matter the size of the box. If I happen to be sitting in front of a Wonka mix, inevitably, I will fish out every tiny box of nerds, and pour them in my mouth (usually about four boxes or til I nearly choke, which ever comes first) and happily crunch through them. Once that’s done, I move on to Laffy Taffy, save the bannana ones because that’s nasty. So if you haven’t had a box of Nerds lately, do yourself a favor and get you a piece.

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16

Jun

The execution could’ve been a little smoother, but he gets an “A” for idea, effort, and extra credit for the purple glitter bike.

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04

Jun

In the 1st episode of Interview with a Dumbass we meet Julian who is going to be the next Emilio Estevez.

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29

May

Meet RICHGIRL (meaning rich in life and love, not bank account), who I believe are the second coming of EnVogue.  These girls were organized by one of my favorite producers, Rich Harrison (The man that brought you Beyonce’s “Crazy In Love” and Amerie’s “One Thing”) and every last one of them can SANG. No auto tune, no riding the beat, just pure vocal deliciousness. Their new single “He Ain’t With Me Now (tho)” is on repeat in my head this week, and drops on tuesday. The Jive records LP is out this summer.

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